The Man Who Plants Hope had been my blog for about 4 years. it served me well and i've had to move it here.
i summed it up as "fractured musings; thoughts trapped in amber ones and zeros; weaknesses and pride-filled exclamations; for no one and every(no)one."
from this point on, it'll be fresh and current.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Yay for title images
01-10-2008
i got a work around tip from kyle on how to once again have a blog header image.
sweet!
it's of that great glass cube that is the Apple Store Manhattan, looking up from the subfloor.
the glass elevator and stair are all that.
i'll need to craft a new one specifically for the blog, but this works for me. it is also timely as Macworld SF is almost upon us.
toys, toys, toys, toys
i got a work around tip from kyle on how to once again have a blog header image.
sweet!
it's of that great glass cube that is the Apple Store Manhattan, looking up from the subfloor.
the glass elevator and stair are all that.
i'll need to craft a new one specifically for the blog, but this works for me. it is also timely as Macworld SF is almost upon us.
toys, toys, toys, toys
Another year
12-31-2007
in Self absorbed crap
i've had a typical, if more sharply contrasting, year.
i've made some new friends, lost some.
fallen in and out of love.
i've fallen into old habits.
closed off part of my heart.
grew tired, feeling old for the first time.
lost intimacy comparative to the past.
gained little more knowledge.
much more appreciation, though.
didn't come to blows in a physical sense.
seen a lot of movies, though fewer concerts.
had some dreams crushed and others unrealized.
revisited old and inspiring people and places.
eaten fewer cheese steaks.
felt betrayed.
cried less.
stayed loyal "to my own pleasure zone"
got caught up in the iPhone phenomenon.
abandoned homestar runner.
… and much more.
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
in Self absorbed crap
i've had a typical, if more sharply contrasting, year.
i've made some new friends, lost some.
fallen in and out of love.
i've fallen into old habits.
closed off part of my heart.
grew tired, feeling old for the first time.
lost intimacy comparative to the past.
gained little more knowledge.
much more appreciation, though.
didn't come to blows in a physical sense.
seen a lot of movies, though fewer concerts.
had some dreams crushed and others unrealized.
revisited old and inspiring people and places.
eaten fewer cheese steaks.
felt betrayed.
cried less.
stayed loyal "to my own pleasure zone"
got caught up in the iPhone phenomenon.
abandoned homestar runner.
… and much more.
response:
linka_sofia:
I should do this sort of retrospective of my year.... dunno whether I can be bothered, though. It's in the past, and mayhap I should just leave it there.
So why did you ditch the homestar? Just wonderin.
Most depressing fact of Linka's 2007: 100% of it spent in the United States
Most fabulous fact of Linka's 2007: ummm... this one's gonna take some thought. prolly that I visited NYC.
There, that is my list. I am usually a woman of many words, so '08's the year I learn to be pithy. Is cool, no?
xoxox
me:
i didn't consciously ditch the series, i just fell out of it.
i was hardcore into it forever.
i mean, i have a stuffed cheat and my GF a cheat hoodie fer chrissake.
concise, as a person, is fine. however, if lack of motivated thought and expression is misconstrued as concise, that's not cool.
i just miss hearing from Linka. i, as an outsider, view that as worthy of concern. i could be the one who is missing the construe, but i fig you should know.
Why i Love/Hate High Fidelity
12-05-2007
INT. CHARLIE'S LIVING ROOM - LATER
Rob is a little too settled into the couch, somewhat bleary.
Everyone gone but the two of them, Charlie plops down into a
chair across from Rob.
Charlie looks off at a corner of the ceiling, musters a look
of "contemplation."
i laugh a lot when i watch this. but it also exposes those corners. the ones that i discover while trying to solve a leak in my sink. at floor level, the world looks different. the ugly truth that i didn't clean here for awhile.
i haven't top 5'd in awhile soooo…
top 5 reasons this movie gets to me:
INT. CHARLIE'S LIVING ROOM - LATER
Rob is a little too settled into the couch, somewhat bleary.
Everyone gone but the two of them, Charlie plops down into a
chair across from Rob.
ROB
Hey Charlie.
CHARLIE
Hey Rob.
ROB
Why did you break up with me for
Marco?
CHARLIE
(on her feet)
Fuck! I knew it! You're going
through one of those what-does-it-
all-mean things.
ROB
Huh?
CHARLIE
There's been a rash of them,
recently. I find it a little
unnerving. In fact Marco called a
few months back, and he wanted to
see me, and rehash the past as they
say, and I wasn't really up for it.
Do all men go through this?
ROB(CONT'D)
C'mon, just answer the question.
You can say what you like. What
the hell?
Charlie looks off at a corner of the ceiling, musters a look
of "contemplation."
CHARLIE
It's all kind of lost in the... in
the dense mists of time now... It
wasn't that I really liked Marco
more. In fact I thought you were
more, shall we say, attractive than
him. It was just that he knew he
was good-looking and you didn't,
and that made a difference somehow.
You used to act as if I was weird
for wanting to spend time with you,
and that got kind of beat, if you
know what I mean. Your self-image
started to rub off on me and I
ended up thinking that I was
strange. And I knew that you were
kind and thoughtful... you made me
laugh, and I dug the way you got
consumed by things you loved... and
Marco seemed a bit more, I don't
know, glamorous? More sure of
himself?
(pause)
Less hard work, because I felt like
I was dragging you around, sort of.
(pause)
A little sunnier. Sparkier.
(pause)
I don't know. You know what people
are like at that age. They make
very superficial judgements. Do
you think that's superficial? He
was a clown, if it's any consolation.
ROB
Did you tell that to Marco when he
did his what-does-it-all-mean thing
with you?
CHARLIE
Oh God, no. I didn't want to hurt
his feelings.
i laugh a lot when i watch this. but it also exposes those corners. the ones that i discover while trying to solve a leak in my sink. at floor level, the world looks different. the ugly truth that i didn't clean here for awhile.
i haven't top 5'd in awhile soooo…
top 5 reasons this movie gets to me:
• [strike thru]the questioning.[/strike thru]
(yeah, i know it's not a real tag, but fuck
you, it's my blog.)
*ahem*
• that every fucking time i watch it
another part of me is unearthed,
dissected, desecrated and brings about
melancholy; it's like an effin' recovery
program.
• the slacker.
• the over analyzing.
• the romanticizing but knowing it's only
a veneer.
• the knowing that the above exchange
is true. but not at the time, and only
now, with reflection, can i appreciate it.
NoLibs gets #350
11-12-2007
only a matter of time before it's in your (swanky) backyard.
mmmm, maybe i won't be going to the Post Office.
i usually don't come home on 7th. typically, just like my trip last week, i get some punk-ass-nigger who jumps out in front of my bike trying to spook me, acting all cool in front of his friends.
this is when i fantasize about telescoping batons and broken jaws.
not cool.
only a matter of time before it's in your (swanky) backyard.
Shooting In Northern Liberties
Philadelphia police are investigating another murder in the city that happened just after midnight in Northern Liberties.
Police said that started out as an argument turned into homicide when 23-year-old Rhashe Allen died after he was shot in the head.
The shooting took place near the intersection of 7th and Girard streets. The gunman got away.
It is the 350th homicide in the city this year.
Copyright 2007 by NBC10.com
mmmm, maybe i won't be going to the Post Office.
i usually don't come home on 7th. typically, just like my trip last week, i get some punk-ass-nigger who jumps out in front of my bike trying to spook me, acting all cool in front of his friends.
this is when i fantasize about telescoping batons and broken jaws.
not cool.
Ugly
10-30-2007
in My tangible universe
Philadelphia has the ugliest people in the country, according to Travel & Leisure Magazine.
haha!
i'm a sexy man. this is fucked up.
sure, we ain't winning beauty contests, but we ain't all living in Fishtown (my neighboring neighborhood). seriously ugly people there. inbreeding ugly.
my coworker attributes the rank to the neighborhood and to the cheese steak.
mmmmmmm…
on a related note, i am lobbying for my face to be on a billboard for my company eating said ugly-inducing cheese steak. the theme: because you don't always eat a salad.
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
in My tangible universe
Philadelphia has the ugliest people in the country, according to Travel & Leisure Magazine.
Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the United States, a survey of visitors and residents showed on Friday. The city of more than 1.5 million people was also found to be among the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly, according to the “America’s Favourite Cities” survey by Travel & Leisure magazine and CNN Headline News.
Of the 25 major American cities ranked by citizen attractiveness, Philadelphia finished dead-last.
According to 60,000 respondents to the magazine's online survey, Philadelphians are slightly more repulsive than Washingtonians (24), Dallasites (23) and San Antonions (22) but way uglier than Miamians (1), San Diegoans (2) and Charlestonians (3).
haha!
i'm a sexy man. this is fucked up.
sure, we ain't winning beauty contests, but we ain't all living in Fishtown (my neighboring neighborhood). seriously ugly people there. inbreeding ugly.
my coworker attributes the rank to the neighborhood and to the cheese steak.
mmmmmmm…
on a related note, i am lobbying for my face to be on a billboard for my company eating said ugly-inducing cheese steak. the theme: because you don't always eat a salad.
response:
linka_sofia:
what happened, obviously, is all the visitors/tourists laid eyes on YOU, then on the rest of your brethren (y'all are into brotherly love over there, aintcha?) and the disparity was so stark and glaring they were aghast at the relative hideosity of the majority of the citizens. uhhh... or something!!!
(you handsome you!)
me:
EXACTLY! finally, someone talking some sense here!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Falling on deaf ears
10-25-2007
hmmm.
self absorbed crap
s'been awhile.
not too depressed nor too ecstatic.
i've neatly dust and put away part of my emotional pains.
it fits nicely on the shelf with the other throes.
it saddens me to have to have done it and pretend it doesn't get to me. but one can make truth and that's what i'm doing.
i've missed the party and my trip out west too.
i had little fantasy moments of what i'd be doing at times.
by this time, i'd have returned home.
sports musings
Flyers are certainly rebounding from their last-in-the-league standing last season. worst to first, not bad.
sheer joy
none, really.
been a bit disappointing on this front.
moving music
having immediate access to Tori's Tower show is really cool. i like reliving and appreciating the subtleties of the night.
i have Dave Gahan's album to get.
of the new music i've gotten over the past month or so, Rabbit In The Moon's new album is the most fun. Underworld's is a nice range of emotions.
i see She Wants Revenge tomorrow and looking forward to Eric's recommended opener, Kenna.
the inane
what makes me happiest today is the Gmail should finally make sense soon in Mail and on my iPhone.
i've watched a lot of movies recently.
the third Eric got a new cat and a nice story of acquisition.
a must see.
my tangible universe
i crashed my bike.
i got sick.
i did a lot of drawing.
top 5 reasons i'm apathetic:
disappointment
sanity
illness
lethargy
missing pieces.
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
hmmm.
self absorbed crap
s'been awhile.
not too depressed nor too ecstatic.
i've neatly dust and put away part of my emotional pains.
it fits nicely on the shelf with the other throes.
it saddens me to have to have done it and pretend it doesn't get to me. but one can make truth and that's what i'm doing.
i've missed the party and my trip out west too.
i had little fantasy moments of what i'd be doing at times.
by this time, i'd have returned home.
sports musings
Flyers are certainly rebounding from their last-in-the-league standing last season. worst to first, not bad.
sheer joy
none, really.
been a bit disappointing on this front.
moving music
having immediate access to Tori's Tower show is really cool. i like reliving and appreciating the subtleties of the night.
i have Dave Gahan's album to get.
of the new music i've gotten over the past month or so, Rabbit In The Moon's new album is the most fun. Underworld's is a nice range of emotions.
i see She Wants Revenge tomorrow and looking forward to Eric's recommended opener, Kenna.
the inane
what makes me happiest today is the Gmail should finally make sense soon in Mail and on my iPhone.
i've watched a lot of movies recently.
the third Eric got a new cat and a nice story of acquisition.
a must see.
my tangible universe
i crashed my bike.
i got sick.
i did a lot of drawing.
top 5 reasons i'm apathetic:
disappointment
sanity
illness
lethargy
missing pieces.
response:
linka_sofia:
Hey sweetie-pye, thank you for the update. I'd been observing some of these developments as they happened, from the sidelines, but it's everso nice to have them all tied neatly together in this bite-size package for one-stop shopping and consumption. Oh and on an unrelated note on GoogleMaps street scan thing: your 'hoods look kool. I am adding your burg to the list of "wanna see it in person some day!" metropolopolises!!!
me:
awwww, thanks sweetie.
it was the hottest real estate in the country last year. it is quite a happening joint.
some of the good food is in South Philly, and some of the cool things to see are on the west side.
but you could eat and drink and be merry in my hood alone.
untitled
09-04-2007
in Self absorbed crap when feeling Aching
sometimes i fool myself into thinking i want this.
it's truly amazing, because this time last year, i was so sure i wanted what i have. i question that moment, or lack of moment. i had it all planned too.
it seems i have no idea what i want, now. in a way, i feel really shallow, yet at the same time, deeply empty.
i am a fool. i am undeterred. i am fantasizing. i am looking for the easy way out. i am making it too hard. i am destroying something for nothing. i look endlessly for signs. i grow tired. i shutter. i want answers. i want it to end. it is the wait. the indecision. the unknown.
would i fight? i think i would. i truly believe i am that misguided. cock-sure, even. reckless, for sure. willing to throw it all away for something that would most certainly plunge me into further fits of extremes.
i hate being level. i feel little. i don't want drama, but i want feeling. i don't think one exists without the other in my world.
what will it take to appreciate? to close doors? to make me complete.
i know one thing: complete is like 'home'. it's a state of mind, temporary. it is something that can be neglected, cluttered, and become undesirable. it is something you convince yourself is what you need. it makes you feel safe. it's a destination. an anchor. full of promise. always in need of improvement. collecting memories and measures.
do i want complete? i'd like to know it's in here. that it's real and needing nothing more than to be fed. this dependency on a mirror or complement is romantic, only.
response:
linka_sofia:
This-a here part I could relate to. Since I was a *kid* I have been cryin for home without knowing where it is. And to speak of "togetherness" is to speak of a chimera, one that's stayed staggeringly out of reach for the better part of a decade.
Then there is vocation, or occupation. I have some of the latter and could get more, some time, but the former has eluded me from the Big Bang.
In short, the pangs of ennui sometimes hurt more than an axe to the throat. I got my own thing goin' on, very much probably different from yours. But you, like so many other real peeps out there in the Matrix, are my Funk Soul Brutha.
See you over the rainbow, honeychild!
in Self absorbed crap when feeling Aching
sometimes i fool myself into thinking i want this.
it's truly amazing, because this time last year, i was so sure i wanted what i have. i question that moment, or lack of moment. i had it all planned too.
it seems i have no idea what i want, now. in a way, i feel really shallow, yet at the same time, deeply empty.
i am a fool. i am undeterred. i am fantasizing. i am looking for the easy way out. i am making it too hard. i am destroying something for nothing. i look endlessly for signs. i grow tired. i shutter. i want answers. i want it to end. it is the wait. the indecision. the unknown.
would i fight? i think i would. i truly believe i am that misguided. cock-sure, even. reckless, for sure. willing to throw it all away for something that would most certainly plunge me into further fits of extremes.
i hate being level. i feel little. i don't want drama, but i want feeling. i don't think one exists without the other in my world.
what will it take to appreciate? to close doors? to make me complete.
i know one thing: complete is like 'home'. it's a state of mind, temporary. it is something that can be neglected, cluttered, and become undesirable. it is something you convince yourself is what you need. it makes you feel safe. it's a destination. an anchor. full of promise. always in need of improvement. collecting memories and measures.
do i want complete? i'd like to know it's in here. that it's real and needing nothing more than to be fed. this dependency on a mirror or complement is romantic, only.
response:
linka_sofia:
Quote:
.
i know one thing: complete is like 'home'. it's a state of mind, temporary. it is something that can be neglected, cluttered, and become undesirable. it is something you convince yourself is what you need. it makes you feel safe. it's a destination. an anchor. full of promise. always in need of improvement. collecting memories and measures.
do i want complete? i'd like to know it's in here. that it's real and needing nothing more than to be fed. this dependency on a mirror or complement is romantic, only.
This-a here part I could relate to. Since I was a *kid* I have been cryin for home without knowing where it is. And to speak of "togetherness" is to speak of a chimera, one that's stayed staggeringly out of reach for the better part of a decade.
Then there is vocation, or occupation. I have some of the latter and could get more, some time, but the former has eluded me from the Big Bang.
In short, the pangs of ennui sometimes hurt more than an axe to the throat. I got my own thing goin' on, very much probably different from yours. But you, like so many other real peeps out there in the Matrix, are my Funk Soul Brutha.
See you over the rainbow, honeychild!
Gigography
08-11-2007
while listening to Kick It (Featuring Iggy Pop) (Peaches/Fatherfucker)
while assembling the ticket stubs for all the shows i've ever attended into an album, there is a short list of memorable one that i have no stub and very little if anything of evidence of these events.
i am creating placeholders for them to deservedly stand next to the ones i do have.
so here is my list:
Björk
- May 15 1998, the 'Capitol Ballroom', Washington DC
Lou Reed
- Aug 14 1998, Bohagers, Balto. Md.
Ruby
- Tue., Aug. 14 2001, The Khyber
Gus Gus
- Thurs Sept 26 2001, The Khyber
Peaches
- w/ Electrocute Fri., Oct. 3 2003, the Trocadero
- July 21 2001, The Khyber
The Ocean Blue
- Wednesday, January 17 2001, 8x10 Club - Baltimore, MD
- w/ Riverside Friday, Sept 17 2004, North Star Bar
The Faint
- w/TV on the Radio Oct 14 2004, Starlight Ballroom
The Psychedelic Furs
- w/ the Pleased April 2 2004, Hard Rock Cafe
She Wants Revenge
- Dec 8 2005, The Khyber
- w/ Electric Six 16, The Khyber
New York Dolls
- Friday, July 21 2006, WXPN All About The Music Festival in Camden, NJ
while listening to Kick It (Featuring Iggy Pop) (Peaches/Fatherfucker)
while assembling the ticket stubs for all the shows i've ever attended into an album, there is a short list of memorable one that i have no stub and very little if anything of evidence of these events.
i am creating placeholders for them to deservedly stand next to the ones i do have.
so here is my list:
Björk
- May 15 1998, the 'Capitol Ballroom', Washington DC
Lou Reed
- Aug 14 1998, Bohagers, Balto. Md.
Ruby
- Tue., Aug. 14 2001, The Khyber
Gus Gus
- Thurs Sept 26 2001, The Khyber
Peaches
- w/ Electrocute Fri., Oct. 3 2003, the Trocadero
- July 21 2001, The Khyber
The Ocean Blue
- Wednesday, January 17 2001, 8x10 Club - Baltimore, MD
- w/ Riverside Friday, Sept 17 2004, North Star Bar
The Faint
- w/TV on the Radio Oct 14 2004, Starlight Ballroom
The Psychedelic Furs
- w/ the Pleased April 2 2004, Hard Rock Cafe
She Wants Revenge
- Dec 8 2005, The Khyber
- w/ Electric Six 16, The Khyber
New York Dolls
- Friday, July 21 2006, WXPN All About The Music Festival in Camden, NJ
Death Pool: who's next? i'll give you a hint...
07-24-2007
when feeling Blah while listening to Wrap My Head Around That (Lucinda Williams/West)
since Tammy Faye just bought it, i figure i'm up next.
after reading this article:
highlights:
"…metabolic syndrome, a cluster of factors that boosts the chance of having a heart attack or stroke and developing diabetes."
…
Metabolic syndrome is associated with five specific health indicators: excess abdominal fat; high blood sugar; high triglycerides; low levels of the good cholesterol HDL; and high blood pressure.
let's see:
check, check, check, check and check
"…
Having metabolic syndrome is known to double the risk of heart attack and stroke, as well as boosting the risk of diabetes."
shit.
well, i have prolly as good a shot at being shot (233 killed in Philly and counting…)than i do choking on a peanut butter and banana sammy.
*oh
gotta go and roll around in some lard for a bit…
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
when feeling Blah while listening to Wrap My Head Around That (Lucinda Williams/West)
since Tammy Faye just bought it, i figure i'm up next.
after reading this article:
By Sheryl Ubelacker
TORONTO (CP) - For those who drink diet pops in the belief that sugar-free beverages are healthier than regular soft drinks, new research suggests they should think again.
A huge U.S. study of middle-aged adults has found that drinking more than one soft drink a day - even a sugar-free diet brand - may be associated with an elevated risk for metabolic syndrome, a cluster of factors that significantly boosts the chance of having a heart attack or stroke and developing diabetes.
"We found that one or more sodas per day increases your risk of new-onset metabolic syndrome by about 45 per cent, and it did not seem to matter if it was regular or diet," Dr. Ramachandran Vasan, senior investigator for the Framingham Heart Study, said Monday from Boston.
Because the corn syrup that sweetens most regular soft drinks can cause weight gain and lead to insulin resistance and diabetes, "you would expect to see an association with regular soft drinks - but not diet soft drinks," he said. "Our findings suggest that this is not the case."
"That for me is striking."
Metabolic syndrome is associated with five specific health indicators: excess abdominal fat; high blood sugar; high triglycerides; low levels of the good cholesterol HDL; and elevated blood pressure.
"And other than high blood pressure, the other four . . . all were associated with drinking one or more sodas per day," said Vasan, a professor of medicine at Boston University.
highlights:
"…metabolic syndrome, a cluster of factors that boosts the chance of having a heart attack or stroke and developing diabetes."
…
Metabolic syndrome is associated with five specific health indicators: excess abdominal fat; high blood sugar; high triglycerides; low levels of the good cholesterol HDL; and high blood pressure.
let's see:
check, check, check, check and check
"…
Having metabolic syndrome is known to double the risk of heart attack and stroke, as well as boosting the risk of diabetes."
shit.
well, i have prolly as good a shot at being shot (233 killed in Philly and counting…)than i do choking on a peanut butter and banana sammy.
*oh
gotta go and roll around in some lard for a bit…
response:
linka_sofia:
....wait a minnit..... Tammy Faye had CANCER.... that has *what* to do with... Soda pop?.....
Just make sure you are very active, burning more calories than you ingest or imbibe. So! Loads of walking, bicycling (I believe you said you are sans automobile these days?), getting ur freak on, and hula hooping!
Auntie "the doctor is IN" Linka
me:
Doh! seems like Leona Helmsley (Hotelier, Tax Cheat) bought it.
who's next?
216..., broken bikes, Eric's family, break-ups
07-13-2007
when feeling Confused
______________
on my commute home, the bike that was hesitating on the ride in decided to stall out. thinking i'd do a minor spark plug replacement, i remember that i have no tools as some fucktard stole them the other week. (as i wrote this i purchased a set off ebay for $74! fuuuuuuuuck!). then i over-stressed the kick start lever and proceeded to bust that too!
god-friggin-damnit! i have this huge gash on my leg from the lever arm scoring it. how many more ways can i fuck up this leg on a bike?!?
______________
that compromised my willingness to attend a concert, but i persevered and I saw Eric play last night. i wasn't going to, but Dave wanted to hang out and it'd been so long since we did.
he owed me money for Spamalot, and bought us dinner.
i had a Poblano Porter at a brew pub and goddamn if it didn't taste like a chile pepper! soooo yummy.
i saw eric's immediate family together for the first time in about 11 years. his sisters have grown; the youngest married with baby(!). his parents, recently divorced but together for his show. it was quite nice if only superficial to see them all together again. his mother said it was the first time in 4 years since even his sisters and he were together for her.
eric played Home and i found out that another member wrote it. but he sings it so well.
______________
as suspected, despite out iPhone love and Squee situation, he has neglected to tell us he broke up with his girlfriend. so frustrating he is! i had a feeling as it's not the first time, but their schedules were so incompatible from his touring and her limited mobility.
rule #12 for friends (especially since we're going on 27 years together) is tell your friends when you goddamn break-up so as to be considerate of the
when feeling Confused
PHILADELPHIA -- Three people were shot to death in Philadelphia overnight.
After 8 p.m. Thursday, there were eight shootings in the city.
…
Police have not reported arrests in any of the shootings.
These homicides bring the total number of killings in Philadelphia to 216 so far this year -- more than one a day.
There are now nearly as many homicides in Philadelphia this year as in New York, which has five times the population.
Of America's 10 largest cities, Philadelphia has the highest homicide rate.
from NBC10.com
______________
on my commute home, the bike that was hesitating on the ride in decided to stall out. thinking i'd do a minor spark plug replacement, i remember that i have no tools as some fucktard stole them the other week. (as i wrote this i purchased a set off ebay for $74! fuuuuuuuuck!). then i over-stressed the kick start lever and proceeded to bust that too!
god-friggin-damnit! i have this huge gash on my leg from the lever arm scoring it. how many more ways can i fuck up this leg on a bike?!?
______________
that compromised my willingness to attend a concert, but i persevered and I saw Eric play last night. i wasn't going to, but Dave wanted to hang out and it'd been so long since we did.
he owed me money for Spamalot, and bought us dinner.
i had a Poblano Porter at a brew pub and goddamn if it didn't taste like a chile pepper! soooo yummy.
i saw eric's immediate family together for the first time in about 11 years. his sisters have grown; the youngest married with baby(!). his parents, recently divorced but together for his show. it was quite nice if only superficial to see them all together again. his mother said it was the first time in 4 years since even his sisters and he were together for her.
eric played Home and i found out that another member wrote it. but he sings it so well.
______________
as suspected, despite out iPhone love and Squee situation, he has neglected to tell us he broke up with his girlfriend. so frustrating he is! i had a feeling as it's not the first time, but their schedules were so incompatible from his touring and her limited mobility.
rule #12 for friends (especially since we're going on 27 years together) is tell your friends when you goddamn break-up so as to be considerate of the
"soooo! it's great to see you! i'm glad you came to the show. we haven't see you recently. eric didn't tell us you're coming to the show…
…
oh
…
oh
…
sorry. i didn't know. "
We love you, Ally
07-12-2007
in Sheer joy
resurrected form our past. you were the most quiet and demur girl when we met. i remember your purple-blue spiked hair, your nose ring, and your tight lip mouth.
by the end of our time together, you came out (and "came out") of your shell as a very confident woman. your pictures were hot. if only we had the vision, you know? the suicide girls had nothing on those shoots! you were ahead of your time.
it was remarkable to see you change and it saddened us so that you were no longer a part of us. it seemed so strong by those last days and how HOW could we have abandoned that?
i regret not staying in touch and these many years apart.
i still have your sticker left on our window, wishing us well in our uncharted journey.
i stumbled upon your picture online and i tracked you down but the means were… subversive and who knows how receptive you'd be to that. i should've called years ago.
whatever. i found you once again under more favorable conditions. hoping everyday after i reached out that you'd find it.
and you did. you made my day. how it shone!
how could anyone be down around you?!
impossible!
i love you. k_ loves you too, but more than i could…
damn.
in Sheer joy
resurrected form our past. you were the most quiet and demur girl when we met. i remember your purple-blue spiked hair, your nose ring, and your tight lip mouth.
by the end of our time together, you came out (and "came out") of your shell as a very confident woman. your pictures were hot. if only we had the vision, you know? the suicide girls had nothing on those shoots! you were ahead of your time.
it was remarkable to see you change and it saddened us so that you were no longer a part of us. it seemed so strong by those last days and how HOW could we have abandoned that?
i regret not staying in touch and these many years apart.
i still have your sticker left on our window, wishing us well in our uncharted journey.
i stumbled upon your picture online and i tracked you down but the means were… subversive and who knows how receptive you'd be to that. i should've called years ago.
whatever. i found you once again under more favorable conditions. hoping everyday after i reached out that you'd find it.
and you did. you made my day. how it shone!
how could anyone be down around you?!
impossible!
i love you. k_ loves you too, but more than i could…
damn.
Changes
07-12-2007
in Self absorbed crap when feeling Disappointed
how did we get to this place?
once, and not long ago, the intensity was so bright it was blinding. eagerness turns to contentment. a slip, a miss, a hidden-in-the-shadows voyeurism… i know not the cause(s) but i am assessing the effect.
i tell myself it not a test. i'm not testing loyalty. i'm not waiting for that "silly me. what was i thinking?" moment where i realize i once again am overreacting.
how can i ignore, though? days have gone i hear nothing. i am absent once, twice, three times… when will it matter?
affect? if at all… we no longer speak. we do not broach the topic even.
but i know i test. i want to see what is there. my interpretation of 'nothing' could be unfair, but how untrue?
when does expectation become needy?
i so often want to be 'me' but cannot. my humor is often misinterpreted as banal and insult. perhaps truth lies in it but no harm is intended. my charms lost in our limitations. i'm a watered-down version of me.
like a diet beverage — so not like the real thing — but it's become palatable.
i'm a book that can be opened and closed.
i don't like that.
i won't be that.
i tell myself our lives are unchanged though i've abandoned my desires. i tell myself that my confusions expressed, my incoherent mess of an outpouring is lost and not dissected. but i don't believe all is lost in the convolution.
i believe i am hushed and tucked in, like a child. told to ignore these unfortunate complications. as i relinquish control, i have willingly accepted to play this immature and undeserving role. knowledge and understanding are on a too-young-to-comprehend level.
i don't like that.
i miss what we were and i don't think we're ever going to reclaim that. i wanted more. perhaps you wanted more. but now we are content with it as it is. i'm too expressive; you, too reserved. i want to devour, you want to pick.
it's sad, really. potential lost to indifference.
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
in Self absorbed crap when feeling Disappointed
how did we get to this place?
once, and not long ago, the intensity was so bright it was blinding. eagerness turns to contentment. a slip, a miss, a hidden-in-the-shadows voyeurism… i know not the cause(s) but i am assessing the effect.
i tell myself it not a test. i'm not testing loyalty. i'm not waiting for that "silly me. what was i thinking?" moment where i realize i once again am overreacting.
how can i ignore, though? days have gone i hear nothing. i am absent once, twice, three times… when will it matter?
affect? if at all… we no longer speak. we do not broach the topic even.
but i know i test. i want to see what is there. my interpretation of 'nothing' could be unfair, but how untrue?
when does expectation become needy?
i so often want to be 'me' but cannot. my humor is often misinterpreted as banal and insult. perhaps truth lies in it but no harm is intended. my charms lost in our limitations. i'm a watered-down version of me.
like a diet beverage — so not like the real thing — but it's become palatable.
i'm a book that can be opened and closed.
i don't like that.
i won't be that.
i tell myself our lives are unchanged though i've abandoned my desires. i tell myself that my confusions expressed, my incoherent mess of an outpouring is lost and not dissected. but i don't believe all is lost in the convolution.
i believe i am hushed and tucked in, like a child. told to ignore these unfortunate complications. as i relinquish control, i have willingly accepted to play this immature and undeserving role. knowledge and understanding are on a too-young-to-comprehend level.
i don't like that.
i miss what we were and i don't think we're ever going to reclaim that. i wanted more. perhaps you wanted more. but now we are content with it as it is. i'm too expressive; you, too reserved. i want to devour, you want to pick.
it's sad, really. potential lost to indifference.
response:
linka_sofia:
there's loads of deep, personal stuff, here, on which I won't dare to comment, and it appears to have spewed forth in a particularly inspired stream of consciousness, but may I simply say there is a jewel of untarnishable brilliance here, in your "watered down version of me..... diet beverage" imagery, OMG you must preserve that nugget for future use.
so you see, every time we have any sort of unpleasant or uncomfortable feeling, god and useful stuff can come of it.
I love to read you, yay, and congratulations on the refound connection in your newer blog entry.
all in all, in summation, and in short: you rock. I am so glad you do.
me:
thanks, Linka.
i filed this under my "self-absorbed crap". it's where it belongs. i am so lost in myself it just pours out.
rarely i seem to make sense and this made sense to me.
as for my "nugget" (LOL) it feels nice, cathartic even, to catch a stream of consciousness and bind it to written word.
i so rarely have those "right place, right time moments".
i know i rock, but i love it when pretty ladies tell me it too.
I fell asleep when you never came
06-19-2007
in Moving music when feeling Confused while listening to My Favorite Plum (Suzanne Vega/Nine objects of desire)
this soothed me tonight.
my little masochist.
response:
juicyful:
me:
in Moving music when feeling Confused while listening to My Favorite Plum (Suzanne Vega/Nine objects of desire)
Uneaten meals
A lonely star
A welcome ride in a neighbour's car
A long walk home
The pouring rain
I fell asleep when you never came
Some rare delight in Manchester town
It took six hours before you let me down
To see it all in a drunken kiss
A stranger's hand on my favourite dress
That was my favourite dress you know
That was my favourite dress
- My Favorite Dress The Wedding Present (David Gedge)
this soothed me tonight.
my little masochist.
response:
juicyful:
Look darling i know you miss me - but get a grip! Ha!
me:
if only you knew…
My iPhone, pt 2
06-11-2007
6/29. 6pm.
i need to get to an AT&T store early. but i'm gonna be upstate. i was hoping to take the day off, get my iPhone, play with it, then leave upstate.
way to go, Steve. it's a Friday, in the Summer, and you expect droves of nerds and geekie geeks to fucking sit out and wait for the goddamn thing!??!
so now i need to compromise my pre-existing plans to accommodate what i've waited over a year for.
fuck you.
::bangs::
::head::
::on::
::desk::
::repeat::
6/29. 6pm.
i need to get to an AT&T store early. but i'm gonna be upstate. i was hoping to take the day off, get my iPhone, play with it, then leave upstate.
way to go, Steve. it's a Friday, in the Summer, and you expect droves of nerds and geekie geeks to fucking sit out and wait for the goddamn thing!??!
so now i need to compromise my pre-existing plans to accommodate what i've waited over a year for.
fuck you.
::bangs::
::head::
::on::
::desk::
::repeat::
My iPhone
06-04-2007
this entry is something i can quickly find, when, in 6 months or so, i possibly regret purchasing or wish to marry my iPhone.
i will be getting one on June 29th, barring serious tragedy.
why?
1- i need a new phone; i'm currently a cingular/at&t contracted customer who needs a new phone. i hate hate hate my current phone. i was forced to switch to it when cingular acquired at&t mobile, now back to at&t(?!?) and force me to upgrade to their new, higher band network. i don't have more than 1.5MB of memory with no expansion card slot available, unlike my old phone. it's poorly navigated and i use it for everything: audio messages, bluetooth file transfer, web browsing, photos, video, IMing.
2- i need a new iPod; i'm batting 0-4 on out-of-the-box, no problem iPods. my most recent and once reliable 3rd Gen is dead, despite a battery replacement last year, the HD has failed. one is my GF's and the other 2 are frankensteined into one, lacking any features (on the go list, ratings) a faulty audio port, and limited to 5GB. so it is mostly an at-work only device.
3- i want it; it's cool and i've been saving for it. the only benefit of 6 months lead time and cursing my phone every day since the iPhone's announcement has been saving for it. and no wussy smaller one, it's worth the extra $$$ for the GBs.
add all the prices together: $100–200 for a phone that i would want (minimum), $250-300 for an iPod… and the iPhone doesn't look too bad in price. it's not a vanity status thing for me; i really think i am the perfect candidate for this.
this entry is something i can quickly find, when, in 6 months or so, i possibly regret purchasing or wish to marry my iPhone.
i will be getting one on June 29th, barring serious tragedy.
why?
1- i need a new phone; i'm currently a cingular/at&t contracted customer who needs a new phone. i hate hate hate my current phone. i was forced to switch to it when cingular acquired at&t mobile, now back to at&t(?!?) and force me to upgrade to their new, higher band network. i don't have more than 1.5MB of memory with no expansion card slot available, unlike my old phone. it's poorly navigated and i use it for everything: audio messages, bluetooth file transfer, web browsing, photos, video, IMing.
2- i need a new iPod; i'm batting 0-4 on out-of-the-box, no problem iPods. my most recent and once reliable 3rd Gen is dead, despite a battery replacement last year, the HD has failed. one is my GF's and the other 2 are frankensteined into one, lacking any features (on the go list, ratings) a faulty audio port, and limited to 5GB. so it is mostly an at-work only device.
3- i want it; it's cool and i've been saving for it. the only benefit of 6 months lead time and cursing my phone every day since the iPhone's announcement has been saving for it. and no wussy smaller one, it's worth the extra $$$ for the GBs.
add all the prices together: $100–200 for a phone that i would want (minimum), $250-300 for an iPod… and the iPhone doesn't look too bad in price. it's not a vanity status thing for me; i really think i am the perfect candidate for this.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
maybe...
06-01-2007
"maybe i feel … out of control."
i find it more frightening what i can become rather than comforted by the foreknowledge of the potential.
man, i've just been hit with panic and hopelessness and i'm like what the fuck!?
there's this impression — like a ghost image or a second skin — i just want to shrug off now.
it's gonna be alright.
"maybe i feel … out of control."
i find it more frightening what i can become rather than comforted by the foreknowledge of the potential.
man, i've just been hit with panic and hopelessness and i'm like what the fuck!?
there's this impression — like a ghost image or a second skin — i just want to shrug off now.
it's gonna be alright.
Weddings: Things to bitch about
05-30-2007 0
while listening to She's Gone (Tindersticks/Tindersticks [II])
was at what i would refer to as the worst wedding ever attended this weekend. now, before you start imagining bridezillas, grooms banging the maid of honor or a family feud, i will dispel those wishful and humorous thoughts now.
what i refer to is attention to detail. having been in attendance of many weddings, and been an active participant in no less than seven services, i can say that the details can and do matter. what i lay before you is inconsequential. the bride and groom and the attendees had a great time. it will go down in history as having been a fine service and memorable as a success. but i must comment on the following.
the bride's bouquet contained fake lilies; paid for in full, the bouquet contained four fake and obviously fake lily stalks.
the DJ was given a 4 hour song list — his request of the soon-to-be-weds, which my GF slaved over for them — decided to ignore the ground rules and only honored the dances with the mother of the groom/father of bride and the newlywed's dance. he played disco (an explicit no-no) and —hitting closer to home of some of the readers of this rant — no Prince, and to a lesser extent for some, but closer for me, no cure, nor depeche mode. on the list, instead, was house of pain's 'jump', beyonce's 'crazy in love' and a constant barrage of cliché disco and rap, no slower songs save the last dance, one other, and the aforementioned required ones. the significant representation of of older attendees were miffed about this.
the all-in-one facility contained
_ no trash cans
_ was grossly understaffed
_ had no silverware on the tables and none to distribute with cake and were therefore stealing whatever they could from the buffet stations later for the cake; i had to yell at them to leave two forks for me and my GF as our involvement in the proceedings prevented us from dining with the rest of the wedding party and guests
_ the buffet stations were not manned after the initial rush
_ they failed to place customized (bubbles, matchbooks) items on the table as instructed
_ cake was not distributed to all tables
_ no coffee or tea was served
_ had the worst audio system that kept cutting out during the exchange of vowels.
_ second only to the following point, but closer to heart: the lone bar was understaffed, had an inexperienced tender(no shit, learning as she made the first few drinks) and said tender was left alone for the second half of the night. the lines were appalling but worst of all the mixed drinks — a serious price boost paid for by the bride's family — were weak and numerous people complained about it
_ so what could be worse than that? this: the venue wants to charge an additional $1400 for supposedly 20 guests who were unaccounted for. now, the tables weren't all full, none were added and the predetermined seating for the service accommodated the amount of attendees and no one else. the bride recognized all and knew the attendees all RSVPed. so phantom guests — who, never got silverware, an additional table, coffee, needed no additional food and died in line before drinking because the service was so slow — are somehow a burden on the day-of staff so much so that an additional $1400 is demanded?! oh, and this point was brought to the father of the bride AT the wedding, mouthful of food and nervous and happy and he was shellshocked.
seriously, this was the one incidence where i'd say if you shelled out $3000 (a guess, i have no idea what they cost) for a wedding planner, none of this woulda happened.
the good things were the photography (price, time allowed, and quality; the best money spent IMHO), the weather, (despite morning wildfires threatening the air quality with overcast and stench, which thankfully dissipated by the later ceremony and that everyone seemed to have a good time.
that is all.
my achievements outside the wedding:
_ saw the phils sweep the braves, ate a hot dog
_ saw the world's largest ice cream float made
_ had a steak and shake dark chocolate milkshake
_ quested, disappointedly, for chupa chups
_ saw lots of fake boobs
_ ate a ton of food, southern, creole and BBQ
_ saw a big chicken
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
while listening to She's Gone (Tindersticks/Tindersticks [II])
was at what i would refer to as the worst wedding ever attended this weekend. now, before you start imagining bridezillas, grooms banging the maid of honor or a family feud, i will dispel those wishful and humorous thoughts now.
what i refer to is attention to detail. having been in attendance of many weddings, and been an active participant in no less than seven services, i can say that the details can and do matter. what i lay before you is inconsequential. the bride and groom and the attendees had a great time. it will go down in history as having been a fine service and memorable as a success. but i must comment on the following.
the bride's bouquet contained fake lilies; paid for in full, the bouquet contained four fake and obviously fake lily stalks.
the DJ was given a 4 hour song list — his request of the soon-to-be-weds, which my GF slaved over for them — decided to ignore the ground rules and only honored the dances with the mother of the groom/father of bride and the newlywed's dance. he played disco (an explicit no-no) and —hitting closer to home of some of the readers of this rant — no Prince, and to a lesser extent for some, but closer for me, no cure, nor depeche mode. on the list, instead, was house of pain's 'jump', beyonce's 'crazy in love' and a constant barrage of cliché disco and rap, no slower songs save the last dance, one other, and the aforementioned required ones. the significant representation of of older attendees were miffed about this.
the all-in-one facility contained
_ no trash cans
_ was grossly understaffed
_ had no silverware on the tables and none to distribute with cake and were therefore stealing whatever they could from the buffet stations later for the cake; i had to yell at them to leave two forks for me and my GF as our involvement in the proceedings prevented us from dining with the rest of the wedding party and guests
_ the buffet stations were not manned after the initial rush
_ they failed to place customized (bubbles, matchbooks) items on the table as instructed
_ cake was not distributed to all tables
_ no coffee or tea was served
_ had the worst audio system that kept cutting out during the exchange of vowels.
_ second only to the following point, but closer to heart: the lone bar was understaffed, had an inexperienced tender(no shit, learning as she made the first few drinks) and said tender was left alone for the second half of the night. the lines were appalling but worst of all the mixed drinks — a serious price boost paid for by the bride's family — were weak and numerous people complained about it
_ so what could be worse than that? this: the venue wants to charge an additional $1400 for supposedly 20 guests who were unaccounted for. now, the tables weren't all full, none were added and the predetermined seating for the service accommodated the amount of attendees and no one else. the bride recognized all and knew the attendees all RSVPed. so phantom guests — who, never got silverware, an additional table, coffee, needed no additional food and died in line before drinking because the service was so slow — are somehow a burden on the day-of staff so much so that an additional $1400 is demanded?! oh, and this point was brought to the father of the bride AT the wedding, mouthful of food and nervous and happy and he was shellshocked.
seriously, this was the one incidence where i'd say if you shelled out $3000 (a guess, i have no idea what they cost) for a wedding planner, none of this woulda happened.
the good things were the photography (price, time allowed, and quality; the best money spent IMHO), the weather, (despite morning wildfires threatening the air quality with overcast and stench, which thankfully dissipated by the later ceremony and that everyone seemed to have a good time.
that is all.
my achievements outside the wedding:
_ saw the phils sweep the braves, ate a hot dog
_ saw the world's largest ice cream float made
_ had a steak and shake dark chocolate milkshake
_ quested, disappointedly, for chupa chups
_ saw lots of fake boobs
_ ate a ton of food, southern, creole and BBQ
_ saw a big chicken
response:
linka_sofia:
holy Vegas chapels Batman, how did I miss this previous blog entry!?!!? (can't comment on the new one as it's a bit... evasive.. but I think you'll be awright too....)
1. the bride and groom exchanged vowels? is this an "o-face" reference!?!?
2. re: $1400 gouge while still at wedding, for ghost/guests.... take 'em to Judge Wapner. SERIOUSLY. That **** is EVIL.
3. DJ is NO NO NO NO unless a personal and to-the-grave tried and true, trusted friend. Otherwise, "Jump Around" at will...
4. Dark chocolate milkshakes and plastic racks: who could ask for anything more!
5. KFC shoulda stuck with that logo, the Colonel is one BUTT UGLY SOB. But how can they serve Pepsi in Ett-lanna?!
6. We missed you. Welcome back!!!
me:
thanks, linka.
i agree with it all, too.
the colonel and the KFC shortening are bad moves. the 'catering to inner city blacks' dancing colonel is a complete no-no. that dead whitey was spinning in his grave over that one, i'm sure.
not sure your reference on the vowels thing, though. i'm not a cool kid :(
My gift
05-22-2007
you fill me with such joy. you have no idea the impact it all has on me.
it was so beautiful and childlike innocent. it was given so much attention in detail and met with so much enthusiasm to share. i melted knowing it was from you. i was light and dizzy.
your immediacy and excitement requires a passenger seat ride and uncompromising submission. i'm such an inarticulate fool at times, but all i wanted to know was if you felt the same when i gift you with what you allow me to give. do you smile and laugh so hard and giggle and squeal? do you fill up and radiate like i do?
…
your smile is beautiful. your eyes flit about, barely able to contain the energy within. (and we know the fuel, don't we?) you speak with your body; you made me laugh with every gesture. so pretty, despite your protests.
it's so natural. so comfortable. how can one ignore the fit? the seemingly unstoppable strength? i fear the momentum. where does it lead, this journey? how can one contain it? will i ever find a healthy balance? why am i such a pessimist?
i want to sleep; to put to rest this whirlwind in my head. to feign disinterest and see only shallow water. i don't want to acknowledge how deep it is or turbulent the current. or how much i want to swim. i know the dangers and i know the water is not what it seems but i want to cool off and feel reborn in it.
you fill me with such joy. you have no idea the impact it all has on me.
it was so beautiful and childlike innocent. it was given so much attention in detail and met with so much enthusiasm to share. i melted knowing it was from you. i was light and dizzy.
your immediacy and excitement requires a passenger seat ride and uncompromising submission. i'm such an inarticulate fool at times, but all i wanted to know was if you felt the same when i gift you with what you allow me to give. do you smile and laugh so hard and giggle and squeal? do you fill up and radiate like i do?
…
your smile is beautiful. your eyes flit about, barely able to contain the energy within. (and we know the fuel, don't we?) you speak with your body; you made me laugh with every gesture. so pretty, despite your protests.
it's so natural. so comfortable. how can one ignore the fit? the seemingly unstoppable strength? i fear the momentum. where does it lead, this journey? how can one contain it? will i ever find a healthy balance? why am i such a pessimist?
i want to sleep; to put to rest this whirlwind in my head. to feign disinterest and see only shallow water. i don't want to acknowledge how deep it is or turbulent the current. or how much i want to swim. i know the dangers and i know the water is not what it seems but i want to cool off and feel reborn in it.
The Namesake
05-21-2007
this weekend i met my lineage. it was quite powerful and profoundly sad. probably more so than at my grandfather's passing. i was very angry at never having been able to meet him. while not long ago, it was long enough that i've had a much greater appreciation for what i do have than what i didn't have.
i am of Jewish descent; Italian Jews. whodathunk?
i had a cousin who just died who had my same given and middle name, and roughly my same age. his mother writes on the back of her hand like i do; crossing off the items complete by licking her thumb and rubbing it out. just like me.
my father, a veritable stranger from this clan for 35 years, is remarked constantly as looking like our namesake; his characteristics embodying our heritage.
i met the oldest relative to carry my lineage; all 4'10" of her. at 92, she never married, and is witty and adorable. her sister is her guardian, and very matronly.
my father now is the oldest of his generation.
my great uncle who passed (the reason for this gathering) was arrogant enough to name a street in the neighborhood after this namesake; proud he was to have come from nothing to make this. and love for his wife, she also received a street name.
we sat, 40 strong, and introduced who we were, what we missed about him and listened to those he touched. it was a very touching, informal service.
deaths are recorded, but the events and the bonds they shape are often forgotten for the forests of tragedy and loss; for better, happier times.
but there is beauty in death and i witnessed one of its faces.
response:
linka_sofia:
me:
this weekend i met my lineage. it was quite powerful and profoundly sad. probably more so than at my grandfather's passing. i was very angry at never having been able to meet him. while not long ago, it was long enough that i've had a much greater appreciation for what i do have than what i didn't have.
i am of Jewish descent; Italian Jews. whodathunk?
i had a cousin who just died who had my same given and middle name, and roughly my same age. his mother writes on the back of her hand like i do; crossing off the items complete by licking her thumb and rubbing it out. just like me.
my father, a veritable stranger from this clan for 35 years, is remarked constantly as looking like our namesake; his characteristics embodying our heritage.
i met the oldest relative to carry my lineage; all 4'10" of her. at 92, she never married, and is witty and adorable. her sister is her guardian, and very matronly.
my father now is the oldest of his generation.
my great uncle who passed (the reason for this gathering) was arrogant enough to name a street in the neighborhood after this namesake; proud he was to have come from nothing to make this. and love for his wife, she also received a street name.
we sat, 40 strong, and introduced who we were, what we missed about him and listened to those he touched. it was a very touching, informal service.
deaths are recorded, but the events and the bonds they shape are often forgotten for the forests of tragedy and loss; for better, happier times.
but there is beauty in death and i witnessed one of its faces.
response:
linka_sofia:
I think part of the story is missing somehow, for those of us not previously in the know about your ancestry and such... but it seems you have pieced together some bits of what makes you *you* that you didn't previously know about... I recently looked at a buncha photos from "the old country" at my papa's house, and all those relatives I never knew and those I've never known well.... it is so weird to realize that things and people who are such a very big part of oneself are so faraway in space and/or time, relatively unknown... and yet part of us all the same.
*mindboggle*
me:
thanks, Linka.
basic backstory:
my father and his immediate family were fractured when he was young. divorced and remarried, only his mother was in my life. my father and his father hardly spoke after the protest of him marrying an irish girl (my mother). so i never knew or met him, and i always wanted to, but he passed before any reconciliation. i've an aunt who my father took care of when her own marriage failed. she abandoned his generosity and irrevocably distanced herself from most of the family. i only met her also at that funeral. i was angry and sad then, now seven years passed, and didn't have a chance to appreciate those who attended the services. i wasn't *here* then, still down in DC and distanced from the day-to-day hardship in settling my grandfather's estate. note: one hardship was the removal of 21 tons of literal junk from the family house, a row house in south philly.
so for my 31 years, i know little to nothing until Saturday about my surname. i honor my father and have never questioned his choice to consciously distance his family from his father, nor unconsciously, as a result of that decision, distance these people from us either. all i wanted as a kid was a big family; grandparents, uncles, big parties, etc.
i never had any of it, and my grandmother was a shell of a woman by the time i was born. really, nothing there; no life, no passion, no character. her sister, my great aunt, was what i envied in a grandparent. but she had children and grandchildren of her own. my great grandfather (my current avatar) was the only lineage i had to follow. i knew his father emigrated here from italy, losing the Gue to a Ju in his surname at Ellis Island.
so it was quite moving and sad to know so much about me: my features, mannerisms, etc, were inherited strongly from my surname family. like you, i'm floored by how much i'll never know and whom i have missed.
'A Suitcase of Memories'
05-12-2007
while listening to Before Today [Chicane Remix] (Everything But The Girl/Like The Deserts Miss The Rain)
i've lost two bands this week.
Lisa says Brendan's being a prick and had acrimoniously split up Dead Can Dance. my heart sank.
Hooky says he 'hated carryin' on as normal with an awful secret'. and New Order dissolves once again. my heart breaks.
in 2005 i traveled separately to NYC to see both of them for the last time. New Order at the Hammerstein Ballroom. it was filmed and i waited a year until they finally shelved the DVD after repeated failures to release it. the show was 6 days after Coachella. i traveled across America and back for them. both were only of a handful of North American shows. it was worth the trip. (5May05)
DCD, in the pouring rain, alone, at Radio City Music Hall.(8oct05) Lisa was sick but still moved the audience. it was a make up show for me. over 9 years after i chose the worst Cure show over their appearance in my back yard (practically). (10jul96)
and i find solace in Ben & Tracey's cover of Cyndi's classic:
Time After Time
while listening to Before Today [Chicane Remix] (Everything But The Girl/Like The Deserts Miss The Rain)
i've lost two bands this week.
Lisa says Brendan's being a prick and had acrimoniously split up Dead Can Dance. my heart sank.
Hooky says he 'hated carryin' on as normal with an awful secret'. and New Order dissolves once again. my heart breaks.
in 2005 i traveled separately to NYC to see both of them for the last time. New Order at the Hammerstein Ballroom. it was filmed and i waited a year until they finally shelved the DVD after repeated failures to release it. the show was 6 days after Coachella. i traveled across America and back for them. both were only of a handful of North American shows. it was worth the trip. (5May05)
DCD, in the pouring rain, alone, at Radio City Music Hall.(8oct05) Lisa was sick but still moved the audience. it was a make up show for me. over 9 years after i chose the worst Cure show over their appearance in my back yard (practically). (10jul96)
and i find solace in Ben & Tracey's cover of Cyndi's classic:
Time After Time
Untitled
05-08-2007
I miss you and wish we could've been closer before you left us.
every time i go to the studio i see you; the worktable, the clutter replaces your minimalism.
your music and your words.
your adventures.
your contributions.
rest in peace, friend.
responses:
me:
I miss you and wish we could've been closer before you left us.
every time i go to the studio i see you; the worktable, the clutter replaces your minimalism.
your music and your words.
your adventures.
your contributions.
rest in peace, friend.
responses:
Well I was going to give some witty response such as 'I miss you too hunny', but then i read the last line and thought it wasn't appropriate.
Who is your friend that you miss?
me:
my friend dylan. he died a year ago this week. very ugly overdose and fallout and for someone who was a very beautiful person, he felt unloved and underestimated how many he touched.
but i thank you for your sentiment, and i do miss you also. only, though, you are alive and well and i know you are happy and i cannot expect your ever-devotion here in spymac's barren wasteland.
though when you visit, you are an oasis and very much appreciated.
The Flood, the Faint, the Faithless and the Friends
04-18-2007
Flood
so i've been fighting a shitload of flooding in my basement. this is typical about once a year, but finally my landfolk are addressing it and installing a pump. my life's artwork from 1998-2000 is toast. not from this most recent flood but i've not wanted to confirm it for years. so sad. such great memories creating them.
i need to take pix of how ridiculous my collecting is as i've had to clean out the basement t accommodate the construction to come.
Faint
rediscovered my shelved fav band, sad that i will miss them in May in NYC. i needed to step away from them and rediscovered their sheer joy in the paranoidattack vid from their site.
Faithless
speaking of bands in NYC, next week i travel there to see Faithless and finally make peace with that restless part of my soul yearning to see them. Maxi and Sister Bliss… i humbly am honored.
Friends
and finally speaking of NYC and bands and all, i see Eric on a momentous showing at the knitting factory. i also hope to see one friend —finally— in the city too. i'm very excited about that.
and i also miss three friends greatly: all women of course and my thoughts and heart are with them daily, hourly and some, minutely.
and Zöe, your brother will arrive into this world bringing tremendous joy and adding to a wonderful family.
end of line
response:
Flood
so i've been fighting a shitload of flooding in my basement. this is typical about once a year, but finally my landfolk are addressing it and installing a pump. my life's artwork from 1998-2000 is toast. not from this most recent flood but i've not wanted to confirm it for years. so sad. such great memories creating them.
i need to take pix of how ridiculous my collecting is as i've had to clean out the basement t accommodate the construction to come.
Faint
rediscovered my shelved fav band, sad that i will miss them in May in NYC. i needed to step away from them and rediscovered their sheer joy in the paranoidattack vid from their site.
Faithless
speaking of bands in NYC, next week i travel there to see Faithless and finally make peace with that restless part of my soul yearning to see them. Maxi and Sister Bliss… i humbly am honored.
Friends
and finally speaking of NYC and bands and all, i see Eric on a momentous showing at the knitting factory. i also hope to see one friend —finally— in the city too. i'm very excited about that.
and i also miss three friends greatly: all women of course and my thoughts and heart are with them daily, hourly and some, minutely.
and Zöe, your brother will arrive into this world bringing tremendous joy and adding to a wonderful family.
end of line
response:
"Landfolk" that's a good one! So sad about the lost works but it ups the value of the rest of your oevre, don't you think? Collecting pics are definitely in order, I'm curious to see what you been stacking up down there in yer basement.
As for the Faint, you mentioned 'em recently in a thread, which has them already on my "must check out" list... I feel like a troglodyte who's never heard of *anything* fresh and exciting and not (yet?) mainstreamy....
Faithless: so funny, when they came to Sofia it was the last thing that EVA woulda X'ed my mind to go see an electronic act perform live. And now, here I am checkin the ticketweb site thingy... o irony!
NYC, I'm-a be there, so I'm hoping to cash in a drink ticky too! what is it with you and women anyways, I've seen pics and you are obviously a manly beast of a man, and yet you are smart and fun and kickass cool and sweet and witty enough to hang with the laydeez. Waddup widdat?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Left to my own devices
04-02-2007
when feeling Mellow while listening to Just Like You Imagined (Nine Inch Nails/The Fragile (Disc 1))
A lot of alone time as of late, which is great.
"everybody arty" - i only wish, chilly.
i shaved for the first time in over 3 years. i have a lip and a chin. she's gonna freak and i really don't care. it wasn't a preference, only, it'll be a shock.
in this alone time i wonder why i haven't heard your voice in awhile. can it only be oversight? are we that involved in the 'discussions' that this is oversight? i doubt it. i've been hit with some revealing details this week. given the choose your own adventure guesswork i must do, i'm surprised about them. when do i finally break? how long the pretense and how long can it exist as such?
tear it all down, it's unnecessary. i wish you'd only answered my intro so long ago and it could be more comfortable.
each night it's my secret world. each exchange is bliss solely because it exists, even when it's so painful and when it's inane. we are zombie and boundless:
that's how i feel. thanks Mike for the poetry.
i've share almost 100 pics, as many songs, days of my life, hours of song and spoken word, as many personal loves…
you inspire, you ignite. you are so foreign, so disappointing, so scary, so nebulous, so unattainable, so impossible.
what is it in me? what? my charms? my attentions? my devotion? my willingness? my obsequiousness? my honesty? my foreign nature but similarities? what? and why?
why can't this be found in others so much closer? have you drawn from those wells so that they are now dry? insatiable? your vampyric nature? am i the next, willing victim?
as marshie marshmallow entices: "seeeecret eatings" is that what we'll only ever be?
ach! 2am. on a given night, it's not be long, but it won't be tonight. perhaps… no… that one will remain in my head.
~
i've finished on a mean song. i need scathing and dark and dirty and wrath. an outlet as i have none.
i like the alone time; i can be pretentious, self-absorbed and easily spill over that which is held inside. for no one, but me.
response:
linka_sofia:
when feeling Mellow while listening to Just Like You Imagined (Nine Inch Nails/The Fragile (Disc 1))
A lot of alone time as of late, which is great.
"everybody arty" - i only wish, chilly.
i shaved for the first time in over 3 years. i have a lip and a chin. she's gonna freak and i really don't care. it wasn't a preference, only, it'll be a shock.
in this alone time i wonder why i haven't heard your voice in awhile. can it only be oversight? are we that involved in the 'discussions' that this is oversight? i doubt it. i've been hit with some revealing details this week. given the choose your own adventure guesswork i must do, i'm surprised about them. when do i finally break? how long the pretense and how long can it exist as such?
tear it all down, it's unnecessary. i wish you'd only answered my intro so long ago and it could be more comfortable.
each night it's my secret world. each exchange is bliss solely because it exists, even when it's so painful and when it's inane. we are zombie and boundless:
"Janine, I drink you up
Janine, Janine
I sing
'if you were the Baltic Sea and I were a cup'
uh-huh"
that's how i feel. thanks Mike for the poetry.
i've share almost 100 pics, as many songs, days of my life, hours of song and spoken word, as many personal loves…
you inspire, you ignite. you are so foreign, so disappointing, so scary, so nebulous, so unattainable, so impossible.
what is it in me? what? my charms? my attentions? my devotion? my willingness? my obsequiousness? my honesty? my foreign nature but similarities? what? and why?
why can't this be found in others so much closer? have you drawn from those wells so that they are now dry? insatiable? your vampyric nature? am i the next, willing victim?
as marshie marshmallow entices: "seeeecret eatings" is that what we'll only ever be?
ach! 2am. on a given night, it's not be long, but it won't be tonight. perhaps… no… that one will remain in my head.
~
i've finished on a mean song. i need scathing and dark and dirty and wrath. an outlet as i have none.
i like the alone time; i can be pretentious, self-absorbed and easily spill over that which is held inside. for no one, but me.
response:
linka_sofia:
Is this what the removal of facial hair does to people?
I'm having alone time this week too, house-sitting with two angry felines who ignore me most of the time. Considering that my usual housemate and sugarmamma is my... uh... biological momma, the alone time is welcome. It helps me recreate the Sofia inside my skull, of all those mornings, afternoons and late nights in my Bulgarian hovel going koo-koo and freakishly desperate for tactile sensations while refreshing the latest posts in an OCD frenzy, seeing what everyone was listening to and advertising my own aural pleasures....
Blahdy blahdy blah. Where'd I put that 1040. Ugh.
I hope your blissful solitude and funky musings of 2 am carry you thru to a mellow, groovy, and oh so exhilarating week. Lookin fwd to hearing about the reactions to your lip and chin!
Cheek-pinchings a-go-go,
Auntie L
Melancholia
03-26-2007
when feeling Melancholy while listening to Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft (The Wedding Present/George Best Plus)
James' Hello just adds to the melancholia this evening…
one of the other ingredients to this mood is Before Sunrise. i caught the last half of the film tonight, i keep missing it and still have yet to see ethan and julie's sequel. i hope to remedy that soon.
i saw Before Sunrise in the theater and i remember the night as perhaps the only time i met a girl who struck me as someone i really liked and wanted to know better but never got the chance. i typically have befriended mates first, then, they become a lover. but this moment was fleeting and it never became anything and i wished i had done something at that time.
anyway, i hate it when i become self conscious about films or songs, like when i feel i totally can identify with them. i hate it because it feels cheap and i feel like a sucker and i get all self conscious over how emotionally fragile i am at the time.
it's not like these two examples of pop culture are cheapening, rather, they are very beautiful and i enjoy them both very much.
regardless, i like the memory of love lost that never was. a reminder, perhaps, to act more assertively and swiftly.
>sigh< just get over myself already
i also named mixes after the Before Sunrise/Sunset films. one begat the other as a reciprocal tracklisting; same artists, meaner or entirely different track feeling. i made the first for a friend and the other for myself. the gifted one is a great mix and i'm quite fond of it:
Sunset - Kate Bush
Drift Away - Junkie XL
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
(Untitled) - Oasis
Help Us Out - The Futureheads
Blood - Editors
The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
Untitled - Revenge
The A La Menthe - Nikkfurie
Maneater (Hall and Oates Meets Nelly Furtado Mix) - Nelly Furtado
Jump - Madonna
Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack
Naked Eye - The Who
Severance (studio version) - Bauhaus
Beauty - Ladytron
Jed's Other Poem (Beautiful Ground) - Grandaddy
Good Days, Bad Days - Richard Butler
Sunrise - Pulp
response:
linka_sofia:
when feeling Melancholy while listening to Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft (The Wedding Present/George Best Plus)
James' Hello just adds to the melancholia this evening…
You and me
Play this song, the vision
Hope to make this love stretch forever
Don't let go in this now or never
Hope there's change enough to say...
Hello
It's over
Hello
It's over
Hello
It's over
Hello
You must say what you're thinking
I'm no mind reader of the stars
We won't get any older
It's so fleeting
I am lost when I'm torn from your heart
Hello
It's over
Hello
It's over
Hello
Hello
Somebody dreams a brave new world
I'm forbidden to breathe its pearl
Late summer evening
Late summer scene
Come together to make this dream
Hello
It's over
Hello
It's over
Hello
Hello
It's over
All but the sea
All but the sea
one of the other ingredients to this mood is Before Sunrise. i caught the last half of the film tonight, i keep missing it and still have yet to see ethan and julie's sequel. i hope to remedy that soon.
i saw Before Sunrise in the theater and i remember the night as perhaps the only time i met a girl who struck me as someone i really liked and wanted to know better but never got the chance. i typically have befriended mates first, then, they become a lover. but this moment was fleeting and it never became anything and i wished i had done something at that time.
anyway, i hate it when i become self conscious about films or songs, like when i feel i totally can identify with them. i hate it because it feels cheap and i feel like a sucker and i get all self conscious over how emotionally fragile i am at the time.
it's not like these two examples of pop culture are cheapening, rather, they are very beautiful and i enjoy them both very much.
regardless, i like the memory of love lost that never was. a reminder, perhaps, to act more assertively and swiftly.
>sigh< just get over myself already
i also named mixes after the Before Sunrise/Sunset films. one begat the other as a reciprocal tracklisting; same artists, meaner or entirely different track feeling. i made the first for a friend and the other for myself. the gifted one is a great mix and i'm quite fond of it:
Sunset - Kate Bush
Drift Away - Junkie XL
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
(Untitled) - Oasis
Help Us Out - The Futureheads
Blood - Editors
The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
Untitled - Revenge
The A La Menthe - Nikkfurie
Maneater (Hall and Oates Meets Nelly Furtado Mix) - Nelly Furtado
Jump - Madonna
Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack
Naked Eye - The Who
Severance (studio version) - Bauhaus
Beauty - Ladytron
Jed's Other Poem (Beautiful Ground) - Grandaddy
Good Days, Bad Days - Richard Butler
Sunrise - Pulp
response:
linka_sofia:
I should get back into making mix-tapes, or playlists, or whatever it is the kids are calling them these days. Up thru college I made some rather splendid ones, yes on *cassette* recorded from the then-newishfangled CDs.
I am a total sucker for popculture things that pull the right strings. And while I love to rock out as much as the next guy, to great tunes, anyone who ever dedicates me a song should probably be warned that I will then dissect the lyrical content for deeper meaning, even if it's just a kickass bootyshaker of a song with nothing particular to say. But then I am a word-ho, so whattaya want.
As for unrequited (or at least unexperienced) love, yeah it's all very touching and poignant and stuff. But I wanna get my claws on something I can sink my teeth into, if you know what I mean. None of that theoretical stuff cuts it for me anymore. But then perhaps I am just in a particularly pissy mood right at present.
Why community has an "i" and "u"
03-13-2007
been really down about this place lately. we get what we want — respect — and and yet we still complain.
EC sparked it, but the gianny bashing made me look for my "shyte" comment which, as expected, received a nice toss off from liamsbird.
it's deplorable the sinister comments that undermined what we are so desperately trying to hold onto.
what community means to my fellow spymacians is complex and unavoidably conflicted. this 'us vs. them' mentality of classic and leapfrog is petty and the squabbles show some really ugly colors on members.
opinions are one things, jealous and spiteful comments on the unassuming are nonproductive and polarizing: you'll be embraced by like-mined folk or distanced.
i'm torn whether to address her directly over it… perhaps it best to ignore and let it lie, but i think she's one to be too opinionated to do the same and perhaps it best to diffuse now…
i dunno.
responses:
Juicyful:
Me:
linka_sofia:
been really down about this place lately. we get what we want — respect — and and yet we still complain.
EC sparked it, but the gianny bashing made me look for my "shyte" comment which, as expected, received a nice toss off from liamsbird.
it's deplorable the sinister comments that undermined what we are so desperately trying to hold onto.
what community means to my fellow spymacians is complex and unavoidably conflicted. this 'us vs. them' mentality of classic and leapfrog is petty and the squabbles show some really ugly colors on members.
opinions are one things, jealous and spiteful comments on the unassuming are nonproductive and polarizing: you'll be embraced by like-mined folk or distanced.
i'm torn whether to address her directly over it… perhaps it best to ignore and let it lie, but i think she's one to be too opinionated to do the same and perhaps it best to diffuse now…
i dunno.
responses:
Juicyful:
What thread was that in? You muct rememebr that 'community' has many voices, each with a different opinion and take on things. We ain't alwasy going to agree. Just let it lie - your Karma is good.
Me:
thanks babe. i felt pretty **** about it. but i will do that.
linka_sofia:
I've no idea what that's all about, but I hope it has passed. Nothin to get super worked up about, I'll wager.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
wha?!
01-24-2007
i'm sad
and tired
and confused
and very concerned
and trying to dismiss as only a technical malfunciton
but i worry
please be ok.
response:
Kristie: (sent me a rose)
i'm sad
and tired
and confused
and very concerned
and trying to dismiss as only a technical malfunciton
but i worry
please be ok.
response:
Kristie: (sent me a rose)
Lamenting the digital age
01-16-2007
when feeling Worried
…that i'll never meet you.
it brings people closer together, but never in person. will this be our future?
^ is it worse than this?
it's been on my mind recently.
responses:
linka_sofia Fret not, Elzi! I *have* met some of my "digital age" pals, in some cases it went well, in a couple of errrr others it led to a bit of heartbreak (nothing permanent)..... then there are those I haven't met and truly probably never will. But we have our real friends, and our relatives (ergh whether we like it or not), and some of those people you see on the public transpo or walkin down the sidewalk or holding up the bar or thrashing about in the mosh pit (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) might be cool for a laugh, a pint, a snog, and/or a nice old-fashioned contact fist-fight!
All that said, I do know what you mean, as well.
Anyway rock on bruthuh, take care and all that stuff!
P.S. thanks for last link rec'd from you, twas yummy in the auricular sense!
ol' Auntie L
me:
when feeling Worried
…that i'll never meet you.
it brings people closer together, but never in person. will this be our future?
^ is it worse than this?
it's been on my mind recently.
responses:
linka_sofia Fret not, Elzi! I *have* met some of my "digital age" pals, in some cases it went well, in a couple of errrr others it led to a bit of heartbreak (nothing permanent)..... then there are those I haven't met and truly probably never will. But we have our real friends, and our relatives (ergh whether we like it or not), and some of those people you see on the public transpo or walkin down the sidewalk or holding up the bar or thrashing about in the mosh pit (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) might be cool for a laugh, a pint, a snog, and/or a nice old-fashioned contact fist-fight!
All that said, I do know what you mean, as well.
Anyway rock on bruthuh, take care and all that stuff!
P.S. thanks for last link rec'd from you, twas yummy in the auricular sense!
ol' Auntie L
me:
ah… the voice of reason.
i appreciate it.
it's that despair that grips one occasionally, where very few know you. you pour your heart out at time through wireless lines, cable modems and satellites and it's all rather intimate or personal and those that connect are miles and miles away.
History is made
01-10-2007
when feeling Exhausted
i just watched the Keynote.
after having experienced the macrumorslive feed, i was itching for the visuals accompanying the astonishing text. steve mixes genuine astonishment with pride and understatement with a great dash of humor. he made cingular's CEO look out of his league in his preparation and flair. the sunavabitch who you know will win the science fair.
wow.
so i must wait 5–6 months for the wunderkid.
the iTV: what an after thought. i don't buy shows off the web, nor movies. i'm not their target audience.
on another note, i road the bus from D-town back home, also via the subway and a brisk 40º walk. two hours. my book and my iPod in it's fancy new case. it behaved on the subway. it keeps crapping out with the iTrip and immediately after detaching it. resets to factory settings Jan 1 2000 but keeps the music and contacts.
i'm at a loss.
garth maybe gets a job with me next month. i hope to repay him for my job over 7 years ago.
i like "talking" with this community. made a new friend today too. EC, linka and Juicyful have been very kind.
when feeling Exhausted
i just watched the Keynote.
after having experienced the macrumorslive feed, i was itching for the visuals accompanying the astonishing text. steve mixes genuine astonishment with pride and understatement with a great dash of humor. he made cingular's CEO look out of his league in his preparation and flair. the sunavabitch who you know will win the science fair.
wow.
so i must wait 5–6 months for the wunderkid.
the iTV: what an after thought. i don't buy shows off the web, nor movies. i'm not their target audience.
on another note, i road the bus from D-town back home, also via the subway and a brisk 40º walk. two hours. my book and my iPod in it's fancy new case. it behaved on the subway. it keeps crapping out with the iTrip and immediately after detaching it. resets to factory settings Jan 1 2000 but keeps the music and contacts.
i'm at a loss.
garth maybe gets a job with me next month. i hope to repay him for my job over 7 years ago.
i like "talking" with this community. made a new friend today too. EC, linka and Juicyful have been very kind.
Wow
01-05-2007
what a shock that leapfrog.
i'm mildly annoyed at the "i'm obviously not working" interface while browsing on the job.
i cannae see pix beyond tits and ass (some i put there).
i'd like better tracking of posts and images and an option to filter or at least thumbnail the pix.
i'm not wholly against it. i'll give it time. i hope if the populous is truly upset with it, they learn to deal. i'd hate to lose folk like we did over V4 and V5.
i've been thinking of starting a thread on how long you, the reader, plan on being here... then again, maybe we don't want to know the answers.
back to leapfrog:
i really like the concept and easy of the file sucker, but the execution is somewhat faulted. no one knows you sent them something.
i want better customization.
i like the ease to reach members.
navigation is a bit clunky.
more to come.
what a shock that leapfrog.
i'm mildly annoyed at the "i'm obviously not working" interface while browsing on the job.
i cannae see pix beyond tits and ass (some i put there).
i'd like better tracking of posts and images and an option to filter or at least thumbnail the pix.
i'm not wholly against it. i'll give it time. i hope if the populous is truly upset with it, they learn to deal. i'd hate to lose folk like we did over V4 and V5.
i've been thinking of starting a thread on how long you, the reader, plan on being here... then again, maybe we don't want to know the answers.
back to leapfrog:
i really like the concept and easy of the file sucker, but the execution is somewhat faulted. no one knows you sent them something.
i want better customization.
i like the ease to reach members.
navigation is a bit clunky.
more to come.
Christmas gifts!
12-29-2006
these were my gifts from the kitties and the woman:
2 dress shirts: nice patterns and one a mod-western style with great stitching.
4 ties: two vintage ones, all fantab looking!
2 pair cuff links. vintage 1920's from a collection in the chicago museum of art.
2 ornaments: one panda, one a kittie, both carved into gourds. great craft work
1 tie clip: fashioned from a pin i lost last year. it was part of a pair and it was combined with a well-matched tie clip.
a set of hand-embroidered handkerchiefs by her too!
1 action figure: roger, the homunculus, from mignola's hellboy series.
merry christmas!!!
responses:
pochacco86:
Juicyful:
these were my gifts from the kitties and the woman:
2 dress shirts: nice patterns and one a mod-western style with great stitching.
4 ties: two vintage ones, all fantab looking!
2 pair cuff links. vintage 1920's from a collection in the chicago museum of art.
2 ornaments: one panda, one a kittie, both carved into gourds. great craft work
1 tie clip: fashioned from a pin i lost last year. it was part of a pair and it was combined with a well-matched tie clip.
a set of hand-embroidered handkerchiefs by her too!
1 action figure: roger, the homunculus, from mignola's hellboy series.
merry christmas!!!
responses:
pochacco86:
Wow!! That's lots of gifts!! I mostly got money from my aunts and uncles!! Buuuuuuutt, I didn't mind!!!
Juicyful:
Very nice you dapper Dandy you!
Sold!
12-14-2006
while listening to Under The Milky Way (The Church/Starfish)
sold my extra ADC to DVI converter finally to subru over at 123macmini.
man, wisconsin seems a world away and then some!
finally found out the corrs sung 'breathless'. not nearly as climactic as rex's drawing class when i dropped to my knees over finally discovering the church sung "under the milky way".
remember, this was pre-internet. that's a great song...
i wish i could play diablo on my intel mini... but that is what the cube is for.
christmas cards, some loving and kitty-on-the-laps await me...
response:
linka_sofia:
while listening to Under The Milky Way (The Church/Starfish)
sold my extra ADC to DVI converter finally to subru over at 123macmini.
man, wisconsin seems a world away and then some!
finally found out the corrs sung 'breathless'. not nearly as climactic as rex's drawing class when i dropped to my knees over finally discovering the church sung "under the milky way".
remember, this was pre-internet. that's a great song...
i wish i could play diablo on my intel mini... but that is what the cube is for.
christmas cards, some loving and kitty-on-the-laps await me...
response:
linka_sofia:
"Breathless" is what you sound like in this entry! I absolutely ADORE that milkyway song by The Church (did they ever do anything else worthwhile?)....
I never gave the Corrs a chance, decided somewhat arbitrarily that they were too nicey-pop for me. Whattaya think?
I hope your holidays are shaping up nicely!
x, Auntie L
me:
the church's 'starfish' - where under the milky way resides - and 'heyday' are both worth picking up.
the height of their sound.
too nicey-pop for me: but aren't that what guilty pleasures are for? t.a.t.u., spice girls, dancefloor tunes by one-hit brit girls, kylie effin minogue� the list goes one.
few are the songs that are memorable by these *ahem* artists, but if jellyhead is playing, i'm enjoying it.
My waning 30th year
12-12-2006
while listening to Eva (Orgy/Vapor Transmission)
what's happened in this time?
responses:
Evilchick:
Juicyful:
me:
linka_sofia:
me:
while listening to Eva (Orgy/Vapor Transmission)
what's happened in this time?
a return to the old country; family friends and the pope.
i rode my bike for 6 of 12 months; the other 6 were in the shop and hardly worked on.
i bought an intel mini
a new job (officially)
new friends come, old friends return, best friends depart
i lost an inspiration of a friend to heroin.
i met chlöe sevigny
learned more about down syndrome than i ever wanted to know.
discovered a ton of new music.
closed a door of sorts?
still haven't of another sort.
logged in about 3000 entries on spymac and about 200+ pics, mostly of the ladies.
millions of cats?
discovered chicken and waffles
started drinking coffee more than occasionally.
cried over sports with way too much frustration
had my first ebay scammer
finally rid myself of one dog, only to be replaced by another.
blogged
youtubed
myspaced (for like 5 minutes)
rediscovered old mes
and finally, destroyed everything i touched
responses:
Evilchick:
Now I'm curious!!! Every one of these events deserves its own blog entry, come on Elziard!!!
Juicyful:
You are such a fascinating creature.
I'm pleased we have become friends over this last year.
I love your new blog banner.
I too have become a Youtube and myspace fiend.
Lets hope your next year is as interesting.
me:
a return to the old country; family friends and the pope.
between the lines
a return in May to Czech Republic, Poland and the Netherlands with all too brief layovers in deservedly much more time places such as Milan and Paris.
Chris and i returned to these places and left the women behind.
what else would you like to know?
linka_sofia:
Which one a them countries is your old one? You are now listening to "Bela Lugosi is Dead" and I'm jealous and must dig up the CD I have with a somewhat wack live version.
Were those things listed, things you did in 2006, or just in the past few weeks?
Anyway I was glad to "meet" you in that spymac way this year too, the rockinness is palpable...
p.s. you liking the new job, then? whatever it is, I hope you dig it and it pays you handsomely.. or at least pretty good-lookinly!
me:
Originally posted by linka_sofia
Which one a them countries is your old one?
my birth twin (same first name, birthdate and schools for 13 years) and i traveled back to places we'd been together years before. he's 2nd gen polish and has family he visits annually.
You are now listening to "Bela Lugosi is Dead" and I'm jealous and must dig up the CD I have with a somewhat wack live version.
i'm assuming from my member page you found that. i was digging up old 'one hits' from my best of 2006 mix; this is the nouvelle vague cover of it
Were those things listed, things you did in 2006, or just in the past few weeks?
all done from 12/15 to now
Anyway I was glad to "meet" you in that spymac way this year too, the rockinness is palpable...
and same here. i just read your member spotlight from 12/12 of last year. i was digging around for those whom i confer with regularly. only you and juicyful in there
p.s. you liking the new job, then? whatever it is, I hope you dig it and it pays you handsomely.. or at least pretty good-lookinly!
i make pretty pictures using macs in the corporate world. i have a window office, overlooking my city from 380 feet up and have some nice friends and i like my boss. it pays better, but not what i want. more like "good looking after 6 shots"
Forum name
11-28-2006
poc asked my why i named my forum Eleven.
i figured i'd explain to those in need of enlightenment:
it's a Spinal Tap thing.
Quote:
rock on.
response:
linka_sofia:
me: ^ ha! LOVE it!
poc asked my why i named my forum Eleven.
i figured i'd explain to those in need of enlightenment:
it's a Spinal Tap thing.
Quote:
Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.
rock on.
response:
linka_sofia:
omg I just rewatched that film a few weeks ago. It is pure genius! "I'm like fire, and he's like ice, and together we're like... lukewarm water!"
me: ^ ha! LOVE it!
The Rest of My Playlist Spotlight Playlist
11-18-2006
when feeling Accomplished while listening to Grace (Stairway to Lanark Mix) (Ruby/DJ LADY MISS SHANIQY'S PHAT MIXX II)
As promised this is the remainder of my DJ Lady Miss ShaniQy's Phat Mixx
the Mix was divided into two sections, an homage to George Michael's greatest hits: For the Feet and For the Head. we started with for the head, which the first 10 songs were showcased in the spotlight.
this is the last song from the subplaylist : these are a few of my favorite foods
these last six round out the 'Head':
Response:
Juicyful:
when feeling Accomplished while listening to Grace (Stairway to Lanark Mix) (Ruby/DJ LADY MISS SHANIQY'S PHAT MIXX II)
As promised this is the remainder of my DJ Lady Miss ShaniQy's Phat Mixx
the Mix was divided into two sections, an homage to George Michael's greatest hits: For the Feet and For the Head. we started with for the head, which the first 10 songs were showcased in the spotlight.
this is the last song from the subplaylist : these are a few of my favorite foods
Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk
Rufus Wainwright
Everything it seems I like?s a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me
these last six round out the 'Head':
One Day She'll Love Me
Sting with Shawn Colvin
Although he's changing day by day he finds these tender words of love impossible to say
This Twilight Garden
The Cure
i lift my eyes from watching you to watch the star rise shine onto your dreaming face and dreaming smile you're dreaming worlds for me
Never Grow Old
The Cranberries
This is my perfect day
Trouble
Coldplay
Here I am in love in a bubble
Don't Follow
Alice In Chains
Take me home
Bitter Sweet Symphony
The Verve
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mind
This is the disc 2:
Poe To DM Via Z
Mark Danielewski/Poe/Depeche Mode
(i)Poe and (ii)brother Mark Danielewski into (iii)Depeche Mode's Shine (Electro Mix) this is a mix i made using iMovie; a strange journey
Daddy died today, he closed his eyes and he left us at 12:03?I'm haunted By the lives that wove the web inside my haunted head?hanging from a rope of mediocrity, strung up by your insecurities
Big Exit
PJ Harvey
But I wanna' pistol in my hand, I wanna' go to a different land
Black Rain
Monaco
And I never thought that love could fall like rain into the sea
Your Retro Career Melted (Zombified Mix)
The Faint
another mix i made blending rob zombie with the faint; the intro is grittier and no longer empty
they hear his plastic jaw as the news drops hard
Shadrach
Beastie Boys
Smoke the holy chalice got my own religion
Everything
The Stereo MCs
I wanna break through I wanna break through I wanna break through I wanna break through
God Is A DJ (Edit)
Faithless
This is my church, this is where I heal my hurts
Grace (Stairway to Lanark Mix)
Ruby
In the quiet, warm, and fragrant dark the electrifying spark is he and me like only we can be
Baby 3
Jeans Team
(a bunch of german stuff i don't understand until i got Tiger and the translation widget) mich wirst du so leicht nicht vergessen
trans: you will not so easily forget me
Making Out
No Doubt
And there are flowers above to my surprise but that just ain't good enough
The Selecter
The Selecter
Why not fall in love with me tonight?
Baby Girl
Nelly Furtado
ba-da ba ching ching ching ba-da ba ba ching ching ba-da ba do-ge de do-ge de day
Can't Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head (Live at the Brits 2002)
Kylie Minogue
la la la
The Eve Of War (Red Dawn Mix/Tilt Remix)
Jeffrey Wayne
'...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes'
Lament
Human League
?
Here To Stay
New Order
Like a bright light on the horizon shining so bright, he'll get you flying
Love Affair
Kylie Minogue
Remember here remember now it's too easy to forget
#1 Crush
Garbage
I will wait for you I'd make room for you I'd sink ships for you, to be close to you, to be part of you, 'cause I believe in you
Response:
Juicyful:
Ooooooh I adore Cigerettes and Choclate milk. Seems we like a lot of the same stuff, but we knew that anyway.
What's On My DVR
11-18-2006
when feeling Shocked while listening to Firestarter (Empirion Mix) (The Prodigy/Hackers 2)
Sorry EvilChick, it's 36?
Movies I've Not Yet Seen
Born On the Fourth of July
King Authur (2005)
I Shot Andy Warhol
American History X
Robin Hood (1995)
City of God
Caravaggio (1986)
National Treasure
The Aviator (2004)
2046
Layer Cake
Watership Down
The Crow: City of Angels
Cracker: A new terror
M (1931)
Tank Girl
Movies I Wanna See Again
Kill Bill Vol1
The Village
Dark City (can i actually stay awake for it on the 3rd attempt?)
Quills
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Peter Pan (2004)
Das Boot (all the way through)
Out of Sight
Hamlet (1995)
Elizabeth
Sirens (all the way through)
Being John Malkovich
Robin Hood Prince of Thieves
Memento Mori
Shiri (without the 10minute corruption on the DVD this time)
Donnie Darko
A Snake of June
Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
The Ninth Gate
Mallrats
when feeling Shocked while listening to Firestarter (Empirion Mix) (The Prodigy/Hackers 2)
Sorry EvilChick, it's 36?
Movies I've Not Yet Seen
Born On the Fourth of July
King Authur (2005)
I Shot Andy Warhol
American History X
Robin Hood (1995)
City of God
Caravaggio (1986)
National Treasure
The Aviator (2004)
2046
Layer Cake
Watership Down
The Crow: City of Angels
Cracker: A new terror
M (1931)
Tank Girl
Movies I Wanna See Again
Kill Bill Vol1
The Village
Dark City (can i actually stay awake for it on the 3rd attempt?)
Quills
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Peter Pan (2004)
Das Boot (all the way through)
Out of Sight
Hamlet (1995)
Elizabeth
Sirens (all the way through)
Being John Malkovich
Robin Hood Prince of Thieves
Memento Mori
Shiri (without the 10minute corruption on the DVD this time)
Donnie Darko
A Snake of June
Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
The Ninth Gate
Mallrats
11-06-2006
completely on a whim, as inspiration goes, at 2am i created a new mix (and booklet covers). i was pleased to see my Member Playlist on the front page today. that was a pleasant surprise. most of the songs have been featured in my :song of the day" thread in my forum.
completely on a whim, as inspiration goes, at 2am i created a new mix (and booklet covers). i was pleased to see my Member Playlist on the front page today. that was a pleasant surprise. most of the songs have been featured in my :song of the day" thread in my forum.
My Culture 1 Giant Leap (feat Maxi Jazz & Robbie Williams)
i owe today's song to 'the tube' eating my honey nut cheerios, i am graced with maxi jazz singing on 'my culture' (also featuring robbie williams). they guest on 1 Giant Leap's track from 2002?! and i never knew it existied until now.
Get Myself Into It The Rapture
Get Myself Into It by The Rapture; next to the who's album, the most eagerly anticipated release this fall for me. the video and song are so addictive. evidently, the video is to spoof a jessica simpson video from a roller rink. roller rinks are chic again?!
Danke Schoen Wayne Newton
The classic parade scene in ferris bueller's day off starts with this song. fantastic. this one's for arya as she has NEVER seen this masterpiece.
A Man In A Purple Dress The Who
today's song is A Man In A Purple Dress by the Who on their just released album, their first in 24 years. Saw them perform this opening night of their world tour. a great lambasting of the Pope. so simple and beautiful it is.
Something More Than This October Project
been a bit melancholy?
i think this'll start or at least be the cornerstone for my final mix for a friend that i am losing.
she drives cross country and, for the most part, alone. with only her thoughts and doubts and fears in losing what she has for something more.
Crazy Alanis Morissette
her cover of the not-too-long-ago Seal song. the video makes this song so mean and hard rather than Seal's plea; it's more desperate and immediate.
Save It For Later The English Beat
by the fantastic English Beat. caught a recent live vid from them on the tube of this song. i can't believe i haven't seen these guys in 25 years. i first knew of the beat from sting wearing their shirt in the 'dont stand so close to me' video. absolutely fantastic song.
Back To The Sea The Futureheads
off their new one. harmony is great for them and this showcases some of their better "futureheads sound"
Don't Stop Brazilian Girls
brazilian girls live totally sold me on them. i mean, 60 years olds, no kidding, were dancing to this. full on, bumpin', hands in the air. you gotta respect that.
Interlude Bizarre Love Triangle New Order
in the middle of this perfect song, the accompanying video decides to break into this little rant. a breather, perhaps, to appreciate how great this song is.
Ice Cream New Young Pony Club
this is the intel core 2 duo song with the chick dancing. infectious.
U + Ur Hand Pink
saw the video for this. her duet on the previous album with Peaches seems to have awoken a nice dirty woman. Pink and Bif Naked musta been separated at birth. either that or chick-rock all sounds the same
Say It Right Nelly Furtado
with much fanfare, Nelly and Timbaland dropped "Promiscuous" on us like a ton of bricks. one of the top tracks of 2006. things got quite for awhile but now this song resurfaced with a nice video and shows how great the producing is on their collaboration.
Feel Good Inc. Gorillaz
fantastic song. seriously one of the best crafted pop songs in the last 5 years. you may not be into brit-pop, you generally may not like hip hop, but DAMN does that Reeses taste good!
Don't Drop Bombs Liza Minnelli with the Pet Shop Boys
my friend jimmy loaded that one and a ton of crap broadway show tunes up on his myspace as revenge, but i liked this one!
According To Plan I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
good, head-bobbing, foot-tapping song.
Martyr Depeche Mode
great guitar hook.
Kidnap The Sandy Claws She Wants Revenge
a 'robotic' take on the Nightmare Before Christmas classic, Kidnap the Sandy Claws. i illustrated the masks for Lock, Shock, and Barrel for the Placebo/SWR show recently. i had hoped to encourage them to play the song at the show.
Playlist Spotlight
11-06-2006
while listening to Out Of Sight (Spiritualized?/DJ LADY MISS SHANIQY'S PHAT MIXX I)
These are the opening 10 songs to my mix DJ Lady Miss ShaniQi's Phat Mixxx. this is the celebration - now five years, amazing - of my endeared cat. she died post 9/11 and right after halloween, so it's rather eerie that i've chosen this mix. friends and fam say it's one of my best.
this excerpt is from the booklet i made:
while listening to Out Of Sight (Spiritualized?/DJ LADY MISS SHANIQY'S PHAT MIXX I)
These are the opening 10 songs to my mix DJ Lady Miss ShaniQi's Phat Mixxx. this is the celebration - now five years, amazing - of my endeared cat. she died post 9/11 and right after halloween, so it's rather eerie that i've chosen this mix. friends and fam say it's one of my best.
this excerpt is from the booklet i made:
Dedication: Obviously to my child Shaniquah Blackheart. I couldn't have loved her more.
Pet Shop Boys
Home And Dry
Album: Release
-picked this one up obviously because i love the PSB. this album is such a departure from their last one nightlife. instantly fell in love with this song. that's johnny marr on the guitar. he breathes fresh humanity into chris's synth beats and neil's often quirky lyrics. side note: the video features rats running around subway tracks for about 4 minutes total(?!) saw them FINALLY in NYC in May '02. they did being boring.
There's a plane at JFK to fly you back from far away all those dark and frantic transatlantic miles
The Rupert Hine Collection (I-IV)
I. Stevie Nicks
Rooms On Fire
Album: Enchanted (Disc 2)
-my introduction to stevie nicks was in 1988 with the album the other side of the mirror, the track?s origin. since i have rather eclectic taste, i was surprised to see rupert's influence on some of my favorite artists. this song was always an indelible reminder of the big 80s stevie, which i hold close, as i do kiss's smashes, thrashes and hits from the same year. >pause< you had to be there.
Well maybe I'm just thinking that the rooms are all on fire every time that you walk in the room
II. Rush
Bravado
Album: Different Stages (Disc 1)
The Rupert Hine Collection is chronological. this live song is from philadelphia in 1994, i'm one of the 12,000 cheering. i saw back-to-back shows at the spectrum on this tour with my brother. this show made it onto their live disk-the only song from this tour as it was 3 tours on 3 disks. so i found it odd that of all songs, in all cities, why did they choose this one? a question someday hopefully answered.... it is also one of my fav tracks from this period of rush.
We will pay the price, but we will not count the cost
III. Milla
The Alien Song (For Those Who Listen)
Album: The Divine Comedy
-so are you surprised too? funny that milla would find rupert to produce her first album. i like the DCD (similar to Dead Can Dance) you can hear in his song structure around her lyrics, most notably on this track, while there's more tori (amos)/eric rosse (her producer on her first albums)-sounding tracks dominating the album. I love milla jovovich >sigh<
Paper, for which you're killing a brother's life
IV. Suzanne Vega
Soap and Water
Album: Songs In Red And Gray
-i was happy to know SV put out a new album. (I) remember the time at the singer/songwriter festival when she got pissed at me for asking her shoe size? where rupert brought synth to the earlier songs, he brings matured layers to this album; more subtle. that line "you are my little kite/carried away in the wayward breeze"...this album came when shaniqy died and i cried and cried over those lines. not fitting to the song's story, but a reminder of what was and is important and innocent and beautiful.
-an interesting journey mr. hine. thank you.
You are my little kite carried away in the wayward breeze
Spiritualized®
Out Of Sight
Album: Let It Come Down
-oh jason pierce....i was in atlanta again, and this record store there still had a series of Spiritualized® posters from ladies and gentlemen... up from when i first noticed them 3 years ago. remarkable in their size and longevity. spiritulized is my zeppelin, my floyd, my beatles, my nirvana. the orchestration on this album rules. the healthiest (and that's a stretch) of the three ultra-control freaks of our time-trent reznor, billy corgan, and jay's alias "j spaceman".
Where I stand is only three miles from space
Björk
I've Seen It All
Album: Selmasongs
-i promise that it gets lighter; the rest of the album's sound that is. (my girlfriend) laughed at my "journey" when describing how one should feel about this album's mix while listening. i struggled over song order on this mix and laughed when the "orchestrated" pieces fell back-to-back. a truly moving song.
(at this point, get some cookies or equivalent and juice and listen to the rest of the mix)
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall!
Phish
Bouncing Around the Room
Album: Lawn Boy
-in 1994(?) i drove greg and this girl julie to her hometown of chagrin falls, OH for a phish show at kent state. my introduction to phish was an experience. they roll the discarded pumpkins from halloween down this hill in CF, smashing them, and sliding down the entrails. i officially killed my '84 mustang on this trip spending 8 hours in a Sheetz truck stop.
she whispered words and I awoke
These Are A Few of My Favorite Foods (I-III)
a collection of snack food in song
I. Cibo Matto
Beef Jerky
Album: Viva! La Woman
-the reason i saw cibo matto in summer '01 was for their opening act Peaches and Gonzales (another story for later...). CM are the greatest rocking asian girls i ever met. a horse's ass is better than yours is the broken english lyric.
A horse's ass is better than yours
II. Morphine
French Fries With Pepper
Album: Like Swimming
-i was introduced to morphine by my friend carrie who lived in the basement apartment. she had this album memorized and we'd reference this song often. mark sandman died in 1999. the 6666 and 7777 are year segments. about 9999 i hope i'm sittin' on the back porch drinking red wine. god bless mark.
by 9-9-99 I hope I'm sittin' on the back porch drinkin' red wine
Kitten love
10-28-2006
when feeling Sad
the stray i've been caring for.
this is her last moments with us before we placed her.
in response:
EvilChick:
linka_sofia:
Kristie:
AtariST:
me:
when feeling Sad
the stray i've been caring for.
this is her last moments with us before we placed her.
in response:
EvilChick:
Aww what a cute Kitty!
linka_sofia:
my mother "socialises" homeless kittens, it's always such a wrench when it's time to turn them in. trippy in that vid how you could hear the little sucker purring!
So was the girl the better half? Yum! Your taste is good not only in music, etc! (insert appropriate compliment here)
Anyone who likes cats rocks. Obviously.
Kristie:
She looks really lively! Glad she found a home!
AtariST:
Good for you!
me:
Quote: Originally posted by linka_sofia
my mother "socialises" homeless kittens, it's always such a wrench when it's time to turn them in. trippy in that vid how you could hear the little sucker purring!
i found out from the placed home she went into heat. at 8 months!
i need to retest for feline leukemia and get her spayed.
i also found out she hurt herself with a nasty cut too.
i hate that i have relinquished control...
Quote:
So was the girl the better half? Yum! Your taste is good not only in music, etc! (insert appropriate compliment here)
me: yes, it is.
Ecstasy? Accomplishment? Closure?
09-28-2006
when feeling Fine
things i've done in the last 96 hours:
in resonse
muddybanks:
Juicyful:
me:
when feeling Fine
things i've done in the last 96 hours:
found out my car is rusting away.
brazilian girls are truly amazing.
ladytron followed through with their influence by jeff wayne's war of the worlds:
the brown center is really cool.
achieved secret service ranking.
drank an ozzy at brewers.
finished (finally!) On Earth As It Is In Hell.
made cupcakes.
made s'mores.
run away from a vomiting guy on the light rail.
sat in 45 minutes of gridlock (in a row).
told linka her butt was nice.
confirmed that katee sackoff - whose name haunted my head (and i had NO idea who she was) is the chick from the new battlestar galactica.
seen one of the best venture brothers ever.
designed billboards (the real thing).
in resonse
muddybanks:
I join you in celebrating linka's butt!
(not ot mention brazialian girls)
now about that rusitng car...
Juicyful:
You have been busy - lets see your billboard design.
Oh, an Brazilian girls are not as hot as italian girls - fact!
me:
not A brazilian girl silly.
THE brazilian girls
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